I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
