how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
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