Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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