Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
