I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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