Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
