He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
