just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
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