So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
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