What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
