he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
