Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
