I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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