you win again, gameday.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
