I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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