It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
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I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
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It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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