I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
