sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
