He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
