dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
