If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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