It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I think my fart just growled at me.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
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My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
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Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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