I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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