So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
