my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
