i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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