I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
