But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
