Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
