You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
