i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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