Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
