we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
