What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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