There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Dicks are not precious.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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