Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
