I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
