She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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