Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
