hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
