Whats the glycemic index on semen?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
