Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
