I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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