there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
