I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
