Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
