So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
i think i just lost a toe
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
