You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
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I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
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I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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