Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".

(917): View more from New York City

I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.

Fav 57 1727 11835
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(860): View more from Connecticut

Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.

Fav 15 4840 1292
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(440): View more from Ohio

Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie

Fav 3 1207 872
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(305): View more from Florida

I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.

Fav 2 560 378
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing

Fav 3 51 123
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