nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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