I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
