i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
