let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
