I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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