oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Randomize
