I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
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