Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(507): View more from Minnesota

I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.

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(925): View more from California

i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on

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(415): View more from California

what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance

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19 Parents Admit the Lies They’ve Told Their Children
Read it at the TFLN blog
(845): View more from New York

the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well

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(540): View more from Virginia

just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping

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(309): View more from Illinois

I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?

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(907): View more from Alaska

Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.

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