Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.