The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?