One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize