Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.