Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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