i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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