My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
