You work out of a Hotel?
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
