I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize