I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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