Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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