Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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