I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Boobs are out for the taking
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
