You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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